I won't pretend I'm a hardworking person. Maybe I once was, but right now I'm lazing on my bed, trying to find things to do which would postpone my interview preparation and studying of maths. Seriously, I hate number patterns. They are the most useless. I've decided I'll start doing those stuff only at 2pm! Ha! But probably I'll renegade on my promise to myself and start even later. Ah well. I'm gonna see if my bro's up for another game.
Btw the time zone's wrong again. It's the next morning, on sat. And it's 1036am. Geez.
Friday, September 30, 2011
An update on the current state of my ordinary life
Well, exams are almost over - I just have 2 more to overcome. I'm really not confident in my performance, I have to admit, especially for GP and geography (the last question. It was on a case study of TNCs which I didn't have time to research on, so I just spouted anything and everything I could come up with, in the hope that I might get at least 1 mark. Though I don't think the teacher is so easily hoodwinked. But you can't blame a girl for trying, can you?)
For GP, I practically had no examples, and I think my writing style sucked. Bigtime. Imagine my utter apprehension when I emerged from the classroom overhearing that most of my classmates had chosen a certain question because of notes the teacher had given. I'm really worried that I'll be the worst-scoring; having low marks and being the bottom doesn't do wonders for one's self-confidence, after all. I generally like to think that my paper 2 was better, but after the unexpectedly abysmal marks I got for the last practice.. I don't know. I can only hope.
And for geography, I feel that that was such a pity. I'd been so prepared for certain things! But no, they had to ask that accursed question on the only topic I didn't have time to study in. Really, I was strapped for time. I only managed to start studying Geog 2 days before the paper. Not 2 full days. One was the morning before my GP paper (on wed. Thu was my Geog) and when I came back from the exams in the evening. The second was in the morning just before my physics paper, and in the 2 hours just before my Geog paper. I had no other option. I was so prepared for physical Geog, and certain topics in human geog,too! Curse the setters of the paper.
Oh yeah, to make matters worse, Geog was on the same day as physics! So yeah, I was really stressed and anxious. I couldn't eat lunch on wed- my attempt led to me vomiting. I was irritable on thu. That's why I hate exams.
Today was Chinese paper. It was the earliest I've ever been dismissed from school! ^^ It wasn't too hard, except maybe the front part where I had to guess at the meaning of the words. Passing is a sure thing, but I'm worried about getting an E grade.
So now all that's left is math and Chem. I really need to pass. I don't wanna be retained. Especially chem. But I'm worried for my math too because there is a topic I haven't managed to cover (sequences and series, which is incredibly annoying because I hate dealing with number patterns). I suppose I'll have to begin tomorrow.
Just now I was checking my email, and I'm unpleasantly reminded of my impending internship interview.. It's on next Wednesday, just a day after my last exam. This means that I'll have to start preparing and gathering information earlier, maybe tomorrow too! I'm really hoping mom can help me with this one. I have never gone through such an experience before. I'm worried there'll be sarcastic or scary teachers around.. T.T
This afternoon was spent playing ps2 games with my brother and loading up my brain with fanfiction. I finished a hikaru no go one, read a deathnote AU one (and they censored all the lemony goodness, which I'm NOT happy about. Honestly! The author said I could find the link of the uncensored one but it's not there! Depriving me of my daily dose of lemonade, how dare you! I'm gonna suffer from lemons withdrawal syndrome, I tell you!) and found a deathnote-cum-code geass one(brilliant! Two geniuses interacting, and there's the promise of a bit of shonen ai! Though it's not what's important about the story). It is really interesting to see what will happen. As you may know, light has a god-complex, while lelouch believes in a hero, a ruler, somebody who is human and noble. I bet the latter's an atheist.
They both have the same ideal- justice. And their methods of operation are complete opposites - light as Kira was not the name he gave himself, and he preferred to remain obscure, while lelouch as zero is dramatic and regularly appears in the media, monopolizing the spotlight like an experienced politician. How will two very different people interact? Will they work together or against each other? And how will they choose to battle it out? It's really a plot which piques my interest. I'm hoping the author's muse pays him/her a visit soon. The story hasn't really gotten into the swing of things yet.
Well, I know I've been babbling quite a bit (who am I kidding; I've been babbling for about 10min!!) and I really ought to sleep now. Though I often wonder, is the blog's timezone set differently from my own? because it's 10.21pm here. I wonder how to set the correct time? (excuse me for being a noob!)
For GP, I practically had no examples, and I think my writing style sucked. Bigtime. Imagine my utter apprehension when I emerged from the classroom overhearing that most of my classmates had chosen a certain question because of notes the teacher had given. I'm really worried that I'll be the worst-scoring; having low marks and being the bottom doesn't do wonders for one's self-confidence, after all. I generally like to think that my paper 2 was better, but after the unexpectedly abysmal marks I got for the last practice.. I don't know. I can only hope.
And for geography, I feel that that was such a pity. I'd been so prepared for certain things! But no, they had to ask that accursed question on the only topic I didn't have time to study in. Really, I was strapped for time. I only managed to start studying Geog 2 days before the paper. Not 2 full days. One was the morning before my GP paper (on wed. Thu was my Geog) and when I came back from the exams in the evening. The second was in the morning just before my physics paper, and in the 2 hours just before my Geog paper. I had no other option. I was so prepared for physical Geog, and certain topics in human geog,too! Curse the setters of the paper.
Oh yeah, to make matters worse, Geog was on the same day as physics! So yeah, I was really stressed and anxious. I couldn't eat lunch on wed- my attempt led to me vomiting. I was irritable on thu. That's why I hate exams.
Today was Chinese paper. It was the earliest I've ever been dismissed from school! ^^ It wasn't too hard, except maybe the front part where I had to guess at the meaning of the words. Passing is a sure thing, but I'm worried about getting an E grade.
So now all that's left is math and Chem. I really need to pass. I don't wanna be retained. Especially chem. But I'm worried for my math too because there is a topic I haven't managed to cover (sequences and series, which is incredibly annoying because I hate dealing with number patterns). I suppose I'll have to begin tomorrow.
Just now I was checking my email, and I'm unpleasantly reminded of my impending internship interview.. It's on next Wednesday, just a day after my last exam. This means that I'll have to start preparing and gathering information earlier, maybe tomorrow too! I'm really hoping mom can help me with this one. I have never gone through such an experience before. I'm worried there'll be sarcastic or scary teachers around.. T.T
This afternoon was spent playing ps2 games with my brother and loading up my brain with fanfiction. I finished a hikaru no go one, read a deathnote AU one (and they censored all the lemony goodness, which I'm NOT happy about. Honestly! The author said I could find the link of the uncensored one but it's not there! Depriving me of my daily dose of lemonade, how dare you! I'm gonna suffer from lemons withdrawal syndrome, I tell you!) and found a deathnote-cum-code geass one(brilliant! Two geniuses interacting, and there's the promise of a bit of shonen ai! Though it's not what's important about the story). It is really interesting to see what will happen. As you may know, light has a god-complex, while lelouch believes in a hero, a ruler, somebody who is human and noble. I bet the latter's an atheist.
They both have the same ideal- justice. And their methods of operation are complete opposites - light as Kira was not the name he gave himself, and he preferred to remain obscure, while lelouch as zero is dramatic and regularly appears in the media, monopolizing the spotlight like an experienced politician. How will two very different people interact? Will they work together or against each other? And how will they choose to battle it out? It's really a plot which piques my interest. I'm hoping the author's muse pays him/her a visit soon. The story hasn't really gotten into the swing of things yet.
Well, I know I've been babbling quite a bit (who am I kidding; I've been babbling for about 10min!!) and I really ought to sleep now. Though I often wonder, is the blog's timezone set differently from my own? because it's 10.21pm here. I wonder how to set the correct time? (excuse me for being a noob!)
Friday, September 23, 2011
Depression alert! Depression alert! Do you copy? Depression alert!
Yes, as my overly ridiculous and dramatic title suggests (or screams, in this case) I am depressed. I feel irritated. I feel lethargic and inertic(that's a word I made up-it means full of inertia; not wanting to start moving, though not minding much when finally succeeding in moving). Every time I think of more torturous studying, I want to cry; it's gotten worse and worse since my last post. I don't know what's happened to me. I used to enjoy studying so much- now it's an activity I have more than enough of, that stops me from my beloved activities like lazing around and reading fanfiction and other stuff. Now I'm on my way to tuition, and I'm feeling terrible. It's the only reason I'm leaving my house today, else I'd be in my room the whole day, trying to focus on studying my ass off. I want to scream; I want to blame somebody for putting me through this; I want to cry. However, my character is not one which allows for that. I almost wish for the exams to be over already, except I still have something unpleasant awaiting me.
I might be on top of my studies if I can focus; that's what's torturing and tormenting me greatly.
My dear, when I am gone, please immortalise me in stone and marble, and let me live on in the hearts of people, the stories on their lips, and the strength of their belief. Scatter my ashes in the wind, but let me keep for myself, a peaceful little corner of England(why England? I have no idea. Harry potter, maybe? Well. That destroyed the mood pretty effectively, I'll bet.) Fare thee well, true love of mine, and make me a cambric shirt. Parseley, sage, Rosemary and thyme.
I might be on top of my studies if I can focus; that's what's torturing and tormenting me greatly.
My dear, when I am gone, please immortalise me in stone and marble, and let me live on in the hearts of people, the stories on their lips, and the strength of their belief. Scatter my ashes in the wind, but let me keep for myself, a peaceful little corner of England(why England? I have no idea. Harry potter, maybe? Well. That destroyed the mood pretty effectively, I'll bet.) Fare thee well, true love of mine, and make me a cambric shirt. Parseley, sage, Rosemary and thyme.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
This is not just dramatics..
I think I'm feeling the equivalent of a mid-life crisis. Firstly, let's explain what a mid-life crisis is. It's when you suddenly realize that you have not much time to live ie you suddenly look at the calendar and go 'oh no! It's the year 2011 and I'm already 60!!' or something like that. You realize that you are running out of time. What have you actually been doing the last 20-30 years?!! Was there, really, anything meaningful? Then you realise, 'no!! All I've been doing, I can't remember much, but that's because it's always been meaningless'. So you panick. Where have all my dreams gone? Oh no! I don't have enough time to do all, and prepare myself before the unpleasant outcome of dying.
So, why do I say I have that equivalent, when I'm only 16? (yes, I'm merely a petulant teen) well, replace 'dying' with 'promos', 'working' with 'playing the day frivolously away', 'looking at the calendar' with 'looking at the clock and then the calendar, then the exam schedule', and 'where have all my dreams gone' with 'where have all my carefully hatched study plans and goals gone'; you'll just see the similarity. Only, the sudden realization that hits one in the gut like a sucker punch to a ninny stays unpleasantly the same. Life doesn't seem to ever give one a break, does it?
I can safely say I'm not the only teen who thinks like that. Just yesterday, I heard a girl crying in the school library's toilet, with 2 teachers standing outside worriedly. Apparently, she's broken down, maybe after being hit by that same realization. Can't say I sympathize though. I'm much too drained. In fact, I think I may be mildly (only mildly, so its really not a big deal) depressed. I found a pamphlet on depression in the taxi, and guess what. I actually display most of the depression symptoms! Lethargy, apathy, alternating sadness and anger, loss of energy.. Well, you get the picture. Actually, I don't think you do, but I don't care. Yes, I wonder too. If I'm so lethargic and apathetic, why do I bother writing here? Well, I had the urge to spill my guts (not literally, no, that would never happen) so I did. It feels sorta therapeutic. Maybe I needed to see a counsellor, but not talk. No. My way of communicating is through black and white, hard copy. Verbally, I could never truly express what I really feel. I could only spout pretty words of comfort, of reassurance, of praise. All are lies. Really, it's a habit. My throat clenches if I try to say an ugly word, even if it's true. Is that a good or bad thing? I have more to say, but I don't wanna waste time. I need to finish my physics revision by this evening, 520pm. Tatta!
So, why do I say I have that equivalent, when I'm only 16? (yes, I'm merely a petulant teen) well, replace 'dying' with 'promos', 'working' with 'playing the day frivolously away', 'looking at the calendar' with 'looking at the clock and then the calendar, then the exam schedule', and 'where have all my dreams gone' with 'where have all my carefully hatched study plans and goals gone'; you'll just see the similarity. Only, the sudden realization that hits one in the gut like a sucker punch to a ninny stays unpleasantly the same. Life doesn't seem to ever give one a break, does it?
I can safely say I'm not the only teen who thinks like that. Just yesterday, I heard a girl crying in the school library's toilet, with 2 teachers standing outside worriedly. Apparently, she's broken down, maybe after being hit by that same realization. Can't say I sympathize though. I'm much too drained. In fact, I think I may be mildly (only mildly, so its really not a big deal) depressed. I found a pamphlet on depression in the taxi, and guess what. I actually display most of the depression symptoms! Lethargy, apathy, alternating sadness and anger, loss of energy.. Well, you get the picture. Actually, I don't think you do, but I don't care. Yes, I wonder too. If I'm so lethargic and apathetic, why do I bother writing here? Well, I had the urge to spill my guts (not literally, no, that would never happen) so I did. It feels sorta therapeutic. Maybe I needed to see a counsellor, but not talk. No. My way of communicating is through black and white, hard copy. Verbally, I could never truly express what I really feel. I could only spout pretty words of comfort, of reassurance, of praise. All are lies. Really, it's a habit. My throat clenches if I try to say an ugly word, even if it's true. Is that a good or bad thing? I have more to say, but I don't wanna waste time. I need to finish my physics revision by this evening, 520pm. Tatta!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Hell!!!!
This is so goddamn annoying.. I wanted to complete a certain portion of my syllabus today in order to be able to finish my revision for sciences by Thursday, but it's not gonna happen!!! Cos it's already 9+!!! and I'm aiming to sleep at 10! Shoots!!!! And there are tons of practice I need to get in, plus my tuition hw and school hmwk!!! I'm so dead, because then there's Geog too..
Not to mention I'm not certain I can keep this up. I was so sleepy in class today, it felt so terrible.. And I just had an unpleasant thought.. PE tmr!!!!!!! T.T I hate hate hate physical exercise, where you just run pointlessly under the hot sun and get tanned, and sweat a lot and waste time, when you could be studying for the goddamn promos! But I also vaguely recall something about canceling PE, though I'm not sure about the accuracy of my memory and whatever. But at least I caught up with the khr fanfic my friend was recommending me.. After promos I swear I'm gonna play as much as I want!!! Though of course I'll revise in order to make certain my foundations' intact. Anyway, im probably pushing the work back. Gonna sleep now.
Not to mention I'm not certain I can keep this up. I was so sleepy in class today, it felt so terrible.. And I just had an unpleasant thought.. PE tmr!!!!!!! T.T I hate hate hate physical exercise, where you just run pointlessly under the hot sun and get tanned, and sweat a lot and waste time, when you could be studying for the goddamn promos! But I also vaguely recall something about canceling PE, though I'm not sure about the accuracy of my memory and whatever. But at least I caught up with the khr fanfic my friend was recommending me.. After promos I swear I'm gonna play as much as I want!!! Though of course I'll revise in order to make certain my foundations' intact. Anyway, im probably pushing the work back. Gonna sleep now.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
See I told you!
My self-discipline is abysmally horrendous! I spent the whole of my weekend reading fanfic! *sobs* there's only a measly week before promos!!!! And I need 2 get practice! Especially organic chemistry, though I'm not confident about the rest. But math should be fine.. Right? Physics.. Well, I love physics, but I'm not always at the top of my game. I must improve! But how? There's only a goddamn week! And geography! I hare Geog! There's nothing for it. I'll have to try and finish my sciences subjects by Thursday. Then I'll have time to make Geog notes and study them. But oh god. Pls don't be so harsh on me. As much as I'd like to ramble on, I need to start getting ready for school. Till the next entry,then.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I am so disappointed..
In myself. I resolved that I would wake up early today. If I'd been successful I would've been able to clear off a large part of my syllabus. As it is, I've only finished 1 out of the many things on the to-do list I have. And now I can't do much more because I'll be having tuition today, the whole day, with only 30min breaks in between. I'm so not looking forward to that.. And I'll be busy during the breaks as well. I've got tons of things to do, and I'm certainly cursing my lack of self-discipline. I definitely must make up for the lax earlier! I really, really need to complete my to-do list. And I don't know why I'm rambling now, only I really need to ramble. The fact that I'm so weary doesn't help.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
What the hell is going on?
Certain people seem to be pumping me for information on how much I've revised for my promotional exams. Its kinda scary.. And one of them seems really stressed. Not that I care. Im more scared that I won't get promoted. Because I don't wanna waste an additional year studying when I could be off to university in another year and a quarter. Well, I've become motivated to study. Heh heh. I'll do it as soon as I take a shower, or maybe a nap too. Well, at least tmr's Friday! And we won't be doing one of those accursed Chinese compos! Say what you will,but I dont like chinese lessons. I think they are just an additional burden (because my peers who don't take Chinese classes have more time and go home earlier) and I hate writing Chinese essays. They piss me off. But no, I don't mind reading the Chinese language. Im really ok with reading Chinese stuff, and I never have any problems understanding. But well, I digress.
I really wonder if there are people out there who really are talking about me. Cos there was this time in PE (what am I saying! It happened only today!) whereby I was walking towards a guy from another class who was seated. He actually stared for a bit(nothing remarkable) but then when i sat in front of him (duh,with my class) I heard some girl say 'if she put any more then might become albino' and some guy replied 'wow so bad!' and she was like 'oh sorry I didn't know you admired her' or something like that. I mean, I could be hypersensitive (hell, I probably was!) but with a look like what he had given me beforehand, how could I not be suspicious? Things like that have happened before, where it feels as if something concerns me, yet it just shouldn't be the case since they are not people I have even spoken to before. Its just weird. Doubtless I'm being paranoid,but better to know than not. I hope not,though. I don't like people touching me, I don't like strangers talking to me, hell, I don't even like people looking at me as I walk past them in the hallways! Even for a brief second. I don't like it. Subconsciously, I turn my head to the side a little and avert my eyes. Maybe it's poor self-confidence, but I don't want to see.. I don't know, their disgust or something. There! Now I know for sure there's something wrong with me. Disgust?!! What the hell?!!!! It seems like such a strong reaction..
I really wonder if there are people out there who really are talking about me. Cos there was this time in PE (what am I saying! It happened only today!) whereby I was walking towards a guy from another class who was seated. He actually stared for a bit(nothing remarkable) but then when i sat in front of him (duh,with my class) I heard some girl say 'if she put any more then might become albino' and some guy replied 'wow so bad!' and she was like 'oh sorry I didn't know you admired her' or something like that. I mean, I could be hypersensitive (hell, I probably was!) but with a look like what he had given me beforehand, how could I not be suspicious? Things like that have happened before, where it feels as if something concerns me, yet it just shouldn't be the case since they are not people I have even spoken to before. Its just weird. Doubtless I'm being paranoid,but better to know than not. I hope not,though. I don't like people touching me, I don't like strangers talking to me, hell, I don't even like people looking at me as I walk past them in the hallways! Even for a brief second. I don't like it. Subconsciously, I turn my head to the side a little and avert my eyes. Maybe it's poor self-confidence, but I don't want to see.. I don't know, their disgust or something. There! Now I know for sure there's something wrong with me. Disgust?!! What the hell?!!!! It seems like such a strong reaction..
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sigh..
What a waste of time that was. It's already 10pm, and the only thing I accomplished was that accursed written report. I can bet you I'll be getting a headache 2x as bad as the one I got today. Why? Well, there are at least 4 things I know will get me a headache. 1) getting brained by someone (duh..) 2) when the weather has that heavy 'i-want-to-rain-but-I'm-too-chicken-to' feeling, where the humidity in the air is not too heavy, but not light either 3) being sleep-deprived (for 3 weeks straight-I think I'm becoming an insomniac) 4) using the computer (really.)
Anyway, I have the feeling that certain people were only being nice cos they felt they had to be nice, which kinda pissed me off. And there was one who kept following me-hey, it's not my fault I'm used to being a loner and walking off alone with my head in the clouds.
Well, anyway, you probably can guess which 2 factors caused my headache now, can you? Actually, even if you can't I don't care. Who am I talking to?)
Hey that reminds me of lambo from khr! He always sings 'who am I?I am lambo!who are you?I am lambo!' or sth like that. It's really so cute! <3
Anyway, I have the feeling that certain people were only being nice cos they felt they had to be nice, which kinda pissed me off. And there was one who kept following me-hey, it's not my fault I'm used to being a loner and walking off alone with my head in the clouds.
Well, anyway, you probably can guess which 2 factors caused my headache now, can you? Actually, even if you can't I don't care. Who am I talking to?)
Hey that reminds me of lambo from khr! He always sings 'who am I?I am lambo!who are you?I am lambo!' or sth like that. It's really so cute! <3
Monday, September 12, 2011
Ok..
This isn't too bad. I don't know why, but I don't feel that down (though I'm so not looking forward to tmr morning- I'd be trying to edit my group's WR) even though during a gp lesson when we were having a minor comprehension test, I distinctly heard SOMEONE (yes, I know who it is; I won't implicate anybody) bitch about how he didn't like me and/or my handwriting, and said something about quality over quantity when I'd kind of lost control and wrote a bit too much (not that it's a bad thing). Geez, just leave me and my weirdness alone! It's not like I ever did something to wage war on the lot of them!
Anyway, where was I? Ah, my 'feel-good'ness. Probably the result of fanfiction too. Ah ha. Though I somehow feel like some people are being condescending in class. Well, whatever.
Anyway, where was I? Ah, my 'feel-good'ness. Probably the result of fanfiction too. Ah ha. Though I somehow feel like some people are being condescending in class. Well, whatever.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Damn..
See, this is what I mean by not keeping up the stamina. I'm barely keeping my eyes open,and I'm studying organic chemistry.. This really sucks. I'm so going back to sleep if I actually finish this fast. This is a short post, but I might edit it later, so.. Whatever.
Well, I slept, but for some godawful and unknown reason, my phone didn't wake me up an hour later. It wouldve woken me up at the normal time, if not for my family. So yea, I have alcohols and phenols not done..
Well, I slept, but for some godawful and unknown reason, my phone didn't wake me up an hour later. It wouldve woken me up at the normal time, if not for my family. So yea, I have alcohols and phenols not done..
Continued
Hey, hey!! I didn't know there was a word limit on posts!!! :-( anyway, I kinda forgot what to say, so hell. Maybe one day I'll post links to the stories, just for the heck of it..
About things I do on my iPhone to occupy my time
First, I'm blogging.
Second, I'm playing games. Like diner dash (cos it was suddenly made free to download- I'm a real stingy person who only goes after free games) on which I got stuck at the third restaurant. I didn't piss off anybody from the tables, but I just couldn't meet the goal money which would have allowed me to go to the next round. But nooooo. They had to ask for 9500! (or somewhere along that amount) so I'm pissed. As well as angry birds. The filthy green pigs could just lie down and die, but no! They had to wait to be bombarded, and those weren't successful attempts anyway.
Third, I do make use of the 'new media' eg social networking sites.
Fourth, I downloaded a manga reading app so I could unashamedly flaunt my totally geeky addiction to manga. Let's not forget anime too, though most sites' video streaming is not compatible with the iPhone.
Fifthly-oh wait,my gp teacher did say that we could only stop at four- ok, moreover, I read fanfiction! *bright smile* don't get me wrong, I love manga and all, but I'm better at words than pictures (hell,I even dream in words and narratives. Really.) so the well-written ones really are a godsend! (yes, yes, I know I sound religious, what with my usage of 'biblical expressions')
And it's even better when it's yaoi!!! XD ok, not the hardcore hardcore yaoi (think double p- never mind..) but I'm ok with mature themes. Yes, I'm a closet yaoi fan. But I don't like yuri, the female character equivalent of yaoi.. I just can't appreciate it. I know these genres probably don't portray real gays and lesbians, thus giving people the wrong idea and all, yet I feel that it actually helps foster open-mindedness.
Second, I'm playing games. Like diner dash (cos it was suddenly made free to download- I'm a real stingy person who only goes after free games) on which I got stuck at the third restaurant. I didn't piss off anybody from the tables, but I just couldn't meet the goal money which would have allowed me to go to the next round. But nooooo. They had to ask for 9500! (or somewhere along that amount) so I'm pissed. As well as angry birds. The filthy green pigs could just lie down and die, but no! They had to wait to be bombarded, and those weren't successful attempts anyway.
Third, I do make use of the 'new media' eg social networking sites.
Fourth, I downloaded a manga reading app so I could unashamedly flaunt my totally geeky addiction to manga. Let's not forget anime too, though most sites' video streaming is not compatible with the iPhone.
Fifthly-oh wait,my gp teacher did say that we could only stop at four- ok, moreover, I read fanfiction! *bright smile* don't get me wrong, I love manga and all, but I'm better at words than pictures (hell,I even dream in words and narratives. Really.) so the well-written ones really are a godsend! (yes, yes, I know I sound religious, what with my usage of 'biblical expressions')
And it's even better when it's yaoi!!! XD ok, not the hardcore hardcore yaoi (think double p- never mind..) but I'm ok with mature themes. Yes, I'm a closet yaoi fan. But I don't like yuri, the female character equivalent of yaoi.. I just can't appreciate it. I know these genres probably don't portray real gays and lesbians, thus giving people the wrong idea and all, yet I feel that it actually helps foster open-mindedness.
Back to school again...
Nooooooo!!!!! I don't wanna go back to school tomorrow, I don't wanna!! T.T I just remembered that I might have a chemistry test tomorrow, and the day's almost gone so my only option's to try and swot it up tomorrow morning. Like, 2am,that kind of early? And I really don't think I'll have the stamina for it, seeing as I slept a mere 2 hours last night.. Plus doing it now's not an option. I have to finish one particularly obnoxious piece of geography research. Honestly, that's what I hate about the goddamned subject! It burns up too much time cos it's not enough that we have to have a large amount of stuff to memorize, but we also have to get the information by ourselves! DX and don't get me started on project work. I swear, whoever cooked up this lovely concept of PW is worse than Satan incarnate (I don't mean to spout blasphemy and I'm not a devil worshipper, but at least satan was portrayed in a pretty cool way in Paradise Lost, while that bastard who introduced Pw to the education syllabus should go jerk himself off and then die of a heart attack. Tough luck, I don't care how cruel and bitchy it sounds, cos the way I see it, my life's almost hell on earth.) I foresee myself suffering severe lack of sleep for at least the whole week.
And I don't wanna go back to school!!!! DX
And I don't wanna go back to school!!!! DX
Saturday, September 10, 2011
A post
I must be insane. I slept at about 1230am, and woke up at 3am so I could catch up in my studies. And now I'm still nowhere near halfway done because I sort of slacked along the way, like what I'm doing now.
Random
Why do I feel so empty?? It's like my stomach is dropping away, my heart's trying to run a 'hardest-beating-heart marathon, and my head is full of steel wool.. I think I want something, but I don't know what it is. Yeah, yeah, it sounds lame but whatever. The truth's the truth.
Ramble 2
The iPhone is addictive. This is an undeniable fact. Put me on a deserted island for a week and I'd still be happily entertained by the time you come get me (and I'm the kind of person who gets bored easily).
I hate project work. Why? Because it's a gross waste of time. I could be doing other stuff, or I could be occupying my time reclaiming my life.
I recently fell in love with fanfiction. Especially khr! I do read yaoi too,though.. :3
I was just thinking I didn't like my new gp tuition teacher.. He rambles on plenty in class, tries to act dramatic (really!), always seems to be using money to make a point, and he's surprisingly close-minded,for a gp teacher.. -.- not that I'm trying to generalize or anything, but isnt gp a subject where you're supposed to deal with multiple points of view? I would then expect a less complete rejection of the idea of certain kinds of people eg homosexuals.
I want to write a story. But the sad thing is, I seem to be severely lacking in imagination. Secondly, I have no time. Thirdly, I get bored easily. I used to be able to commit, but now it seems I've gotten more irresponsible and flighty the older I get. I wanna write a good khr fanfic because there really aren't many.
Just a few days ago, I got really angry. I mean, it's really not such a big issue, but I just couldn't stand it. The incident I came across drove home the cruel fact that people, most of them, are superficial creatures. No, I'm not the ugly one. Nobody's the ugly one. It's just got something to do with a change in view of the superficial person.
I'm addicted to RPGs.. I'm dead.
How long can a person last living on 3 hours of sleep everyday? I really want to know.
I hate project work. Why? Because it's a gross waste of time. I could be doing other stuff, or I could be occupying my time reclaiming my life.
I recently fell in love with fanfiction. Especially khr! I do read yaoi too,though.. :3
I was just thinking I didn't like my new gp tuition teacher.. He rambles on plenty in class, tries to act dramatic (really!), always seems to be using money to make a point, and he's surprisingly close-minded,for a gp teacher.. -.- not that I'm trying to generalize or anything, but isnt gp a subject where you're supposed to deal with multiple points of view? I would then expect a less complete rejection of the idea of certain kinds of people eg homosexuals.
I want to write a story. But the sad thing is, I seem to be severely lacking in imagination. Secondly, I have no time. Thirdly, I get bored easily. I used to be able to commit, but now it seems I've gotten more irresponsible and flighty the older I get. I wanna write a good khr fanfic because there really aren't many.
Just a few days ago, I got really angry. I mean, it's really not such a big issue, but I just couldn't stand it. The incident I came across drove home the cruel fact that people, most of them, are superficial creatures. No, I'm not the ugly one. Nobody's the ugly one. It's just got something to do with a change in view of the superficial person.
I'm addicted to RPGs.. I'm dead.
How long can a person last living on 3 hours of sleep everyday? I really want to know.
An introduction
Well! Actually, I created this blog a long, long time ago. But I couldn't log in for so long, that I just ignored it. That day, I was randomly looking for free iPhone apps to download, and I found the blogger app! So yeah, I'll probably start coming here to post stuff and ramble a bit (read: a lot.. -.-)
So, how's my life now? Pathetic, I would say. See,it just revolves around school and studies, and not by choice. The only thing keeping me going now is my pastimes (to give a small break from the constant frustration) and the thought that I would be wasting my time if I got retained in school. Because my goal's to get out of the education system as soon as I can, so all my education choices are calculated so I can finish education faster.
See? I'm rambling already. Well.
So, how's my life now? Pathetic, I would say. See,it just revolves around school and studies, and not by choice. The only thing keeping me going now is my pastimes (to give a small break from the constant frustration) and the thought that I would be wasting my time if I got retained in school. Because my goal's to get out of the education system as soon as I can, so all my education choices are calculated so I can finish education faster.
See? I'm rambling already. Well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
