Thursday, September 15, 2011

What the hell is going on?

Certain people seem to be pumping me for information on how much I've revised for my promotional exams. Its kinda scary.. And one of them seems really stressed. Not that I care. Im more scared that I won't get promoted. Because I don't wanna waste an additional year studying when I could be off to university in another year and a quarter. Well, I've become motivated to study. Heh heh. I'll do it as soon as I take a shower, or maybe a nap too. Well, at least tmr's Friday! And we won't be doing one of those accursed Chinese compos! Say what you will,but I dont like chinese lessons. I think they are just an additional burden (because my peers who don't take Chinese classes have more time and go home earlier) and I hate writing Chinese essays. They piss me off. But no, I don't mind reading the Chinese language. Im really ok with reading Chinese stuff, and I never have any problems understanding. But well, I digress.
I really wonder if there are people out there who really are talking about me. Cos there was this time in PE (what am I saying! It happened only today!) whereby I was walking towards a guy from another class who was seated. He actually stared for a bit(nothing remarkable) but then when i sat in front of him (duh,with my class) I heard some girl say 'if she put any more then might become albino' and some guy replied 'wow so bad!' and she was like 'oh sorry I didn't know you admired her' or something like that. I mean, I could be hypersensitive (hell, I probably was!) but with a look like what he had given me beforehand, how could I not be suspicious? Things like that have happened before, where it feels as if something concerns me, yet it just shouldn't be the case since they are not people I have even spoken to before. Its just weird. Doubtless I'm being paranoid,but better to know than not. I hope not,though. I don't like people touching me, I don't like strangers talking to me, hell, I don't even like people looking at me as I walk past them in the hallways! Even for a brief second. I don't like it. Subconsciously, I turn my head to the side a little and avert my eyes. Maybe it's poor self-confidence, but I don't want to see.. I don't know, their disgust or something. There! Now I know for sure there's something wrong with me. Disgust?!! What the hell?!!!! It seems like such a strong reaction..

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