My life sucks!

I feel so pissed.. I have to go out almost everyday, because of tuition and school. Shit! Cos some students already have holidays. And to make things more annoying, people seem to assume I'm freer than I really am, so they expect me to come on time etc etc. I really am in no condition to endure all this so I'm going to try to come on time. And to cut down time dawdling on what I should wear, I've decided to simplify everything by wearing my school uniform everywhere. Ha! Then they won't assume I've got all this free time. I'm gonna do that tmr. It should work. To hell with everything.
Btw I just got a new haircut. I hope it'll look good by tmr, so that there'll be one less thing to agonize over. Honestly, I could get pissed at everybody, from those who expect stuff from me, to those who always seem to surpass me. I hope it's not just a phase, whatever I think I'm experiencing now. Because it reminds me of the ugliness of man, of how the beautiful always are given better treatment and forgiveness because they're beautiful. And to remind myself more and prevent myself from falling into the trap of loving others, I've decided to wear a pair of rose earrings for as long as I wear ear studs. They don't have to be the same pair, but they should always be of a rose design. This is to remind me that even if I may not be considered a rose in everybody's eyes, I can at least grow thorns to protect myself from getting hurt or disappointed. Seriously, there may be those who think I'm just being dramatic and wallowing in self pity and being pathetic, but that's the way I feel so I won't listen. Because my true nature is too vulnerable. I tend to want to believe good things, and the disfulfillment of them always makes me bitter. Yes, I'm quite a bitter person, but I'm trying to slow it down. I don't want to be a bitter person, too. Unless it protects me by turning my heart into ice and instilling apathy in me, so that I will feel less exhausted from the emotions that life brings. Recently, I was listening to the song 'bad apple', and I must say, I identify with the lyrics pretty well, eg 'merely walking leaves me exhausted, so how could I care for anyone else?' and 'sadness only exhausts me, so I'd rather live my life feeling nothing'. I can enjoy life on my own; I don't need false hope.