What the hell, you asshole

You know, I really hate it when people think they can analyse me. I mean, who the hell do they think they are? Like, what, show some interest and I'll open up to you? I never really thought he was irritating, but after the way he tried to understand me(like some kind of curiosity) I'm really annoyed by him. Excuse me? Stupid f-ing poncy. I bet those two boys were sort of conspiring against me. And I bet they tried to sweet-talk me. That pisses me off more! And I heard from the f-ing irritant that his friend did mention once that I was quite good-looking(not that I deny it, but I won't believe it to the extent that I get so full of myself. After all prettier girls abound.) that sets me off more because it reminds me of the way this lousy world works. People only treat the pretty ones well. Everybody (ok, almost everybody) is a f*cker. I mean that literally. That's the most basic instinct, I believe. Well, yea, maybe I'm a misanthrope, but I think I bloody well have a right to be. I haven't met truly pure people before. Even that which I once thought was pure is, in fact, tainted. I know I'm speaking in riddles. It's on purpose. But let's just say I'm disappointed. Really.
I know for a fact that what I've said about favoritism based on looks is true. Because people have treated me better based on my looks. When that happens, I just count it as a blessing, as another way I can better survive in the world. I have no redeeming qualities I can be certain of; I'll take what I can get. And that includes not allowing anyone else in.
Anyway, on to more mundane topics. I just needed to let my anger out. I am required to make a choice on what topic I will take next year for geography. Should I take hydrology or urban geography? I am uncertain of my own strength. I would rather take the former because one of the reasons I chose Geog as a subject was to understand the workings of the world around me better. I find anything relating to the human world eg economics, resource constraint etc pointless, partly due to my misanthropy. Yet, since urban Geog would provide me with information so I may be able to do my general paper better, I am tempted to pick that. Don't you just love it when you can Kill two tweeties with one strike? But if it turns out to not be my strength it'll backfire like nobody's business.
By the way, I found a real cool vocaloid song, 'Tokyo Teddy bear'. Too bad I couldn't find the English translation, since I like to know the meaning of the song I'm listening to, if there is any. And most of the ones I select do. Because I have great taste in songs. Ha! Well, I think I'll leave it at that for now, since I grow weary.

Well.

This sucks. I've been waiting at a classmate's house for some other project group members since early afternoon! We have to do an f-ing skit!! DX oh, this gets better because I'm DA MOM. Really, I hate children. I hate motherly figures also. I hate mother hens. So, what was I thinking, man? Well, I don't know, and I shouldn't care. So, anyway, I was reading this really interesting fanfic where Draco malfoy had a spell cast on him which would make him desire his worst enemy. So of course that would be Harry potter. It gets darker and darker as Draco keeps changing tactics to get Harry to allow him to f*ck him. Draco loves Harry so much he tortures and kills for him, even when the opponents are his own parents. He lives for Harry. At one point, Draco, being overcome with hunger and gaping emptiness, attempts to eat himself in despair. When I read that part, my heart clenched like nobody's business. But I didn't like the end; it was a little anticlimatic.. But I LOVED this! It was the best ever! Plus it didn't have any insinuations that Harry and draco had something between them previously, even without the events which befell him. So I loved it! Yay!

Neheheheh!

I didn't go to school today! But I'm really worried about disciplinary records and the impression my form teacher might have on me. Honestly, thinking about it now, I think I have an abysmally low chance of getting into the choice I want, or even being chosen for the school's programme I wanted to be in. Really. My grades aren't fantastic, I'm often late, I don't think I made a really extraordinary impression at the interview, and I'm too unfettered to make a really fantastic impression on my subject teachers, whose inputs contribute a determining factor in whether or not I'm chosen. Anyway.
I'm procrastinating right now, because I really don't want to start on my work. Project work. Especially the EoM, which I have to hand in by tomorrow. It's not a draft, but the final copy. So ya, I have little choice. But that doesn't stop me from procrastinating.
My mom's off to India, I believe. So my grandma's here till the weekend, I presume. I guess I should've greeted her the moment she came, but I'm procrastinating. So I'll probably do it after a shower. Which I'm trying to put off, also.
I was reading fanfiction and an interesting manhwa series just now. It's not what I would usually have read, but sometimes people need something mindless in order to successfully procrastinate. There was this really interesting khr fanfic too! About tsuna being banished into the past, and ge became vongola primo's advisor. It was really cool!! ^^ I subscribed immediately. Haha. But now, seeing as I'm almost done with this entry, I suppose I can't put off my shower any longer(yeah, yeah, I know, who puts off something as minor as showering, anyway? But I'm inertic- remember the word I made up?- so I'm even trying to put off minor things.)
I will now end off with a curse to the Forces in my Life which relentlessly conspire to force me out of my inertia and my desire to laze forever in my room, reading fanfiction and generally doing mindless things. These include the need for school, the EoM I must complete, PW in general, the need to shower, the need to drink water, the need to pack my bag, the need to get off my tuffet and out of my room, etc etc. So I'll be off now. *sob sob*

After most of the trials..

Today was the goddamned 'interview'. Actually, not really since it involves all of the people going into the room at the same time. It's more like being briefed. It's really lame, but I actually forgot what my other 2 choices were.. So I didn't open my mouth. I just hope it doesn't affect the teachers' perceptions.
And there are still trials to overcome.
1. My EoM is due on this friday so I need to finish by tomorrow (I'm not planning to go to school since it's just a goddamn waste of time and I'd need to participate in the sports festival)
2. My OP though I've done the rough speech(I might need to start practicing soon, then change A LOT since I copied and pasted from the WR itself)
3. My WR 3rd draft(gods, I could've done without that!)
Plus I feel guilty for not going for any EoM consultations..
I was just reading a Harry potter fanfic which consisted of a threesome (Harry, malfoy, snape) relationship. Lolz I really think I might be influenced and am being converted to a pervert.. Haha.
I was also thinking about a Harry potter fic I read before this one, and Harry was a dark lord and a slut.. /.-
You know, what might annoy me alot is that somebody seems to be getting the wrong idea about me, that I might be interested in that person (which is so obviously not, but who knows?). I don't know if it's true, but from the way that certain person keeps serving to look at me, I get that intuitive feeling. What, you don't believe me?! Really, my intuition works well when it needs to! It's so insulting.. As if I would be that kind of idiot.. I hope I'm just thinking too much..

Almost over..

Well, my exams are officially over. I didn't do as badly for chemistry as I expected. Not that it means anything, since I still didn't complete a few questions, especially organic chem. But the trials are not over. Tomorrow I have an interview for the TIP that I wanted to take part in. I'm really afraid, because I have no idea what to expect. I'm really afraid I'll blank out and then make a right fool of myself. And tomorrow I'd have to sit through quite a ling period of time - the sports festival. It's not something that sounds appealing to me, because I'm not exactly a sports buff, and worse, what if it means I'm required to participate in some sports thingy?!! I'm so not looking forward to that! Not at all!!!
Moreover, the challenges I have to face are not over yet, because they also include Pw, as well as the oral presentation. And oh shit, of course I had to go forget the EoM final submission! I'm still not exactly sure when I need to submit it! But I know I have to get to work soon. Damn it all! Though right now I'm most concerned about the impending interview of accursed doom..
The outing with my supposedly best pals didn't go too well, either. It just was boring. And I felt myself suddenly starting to zone out every now and then, and I was sure they noticed and were impatient about that. So it's left a bitter aftertaste..
I'm determined to write my own fanfiction, and soon. I don't care!
Anyway I'll be off to eat now.. Before finishing my appointment.
P. S. I hate hate hate wasting my time!!!

I feel terrible

Yes, as the title says, I really feel terrible. I feel like crying. I don't think I did well on my test at all! And after the test I think most ppl found it easy. What, I'm gonna be the worst now? I'm gonna have to suck it up? What the hell!!! I'm really exhausted. Emotionally, especially. I really, really want to be promoted. I'm so sick of this feeling bad. I hate life, really, I do. There aren't enough good fanfictions, not enough time to read them, everything is too hard. I hate feeling bad about myself. How am I going to do well at the goddamned interview if I can't speak confidently about my strong traits, as I can't when my grades don't show what I tell about myself? I hate this, I hate this! I feel like vomiting. I feel really gloomy. I hate hate hate this!

Languishing in the throes of procrastination

Ok, I have no idea what that title means. I suppose it has something to do with how I'm feeling now. It's 547pm, and I've just started on my maths revision - the last part which I hadn't done before today. I'm in no mood to study, and I admit it could be due to my mind already getting out of the study mood it was in last week, which is probably the result of me dear mind gorging on the wonder that is fanfiction. So yea, I'm a procrastinator right now.
Sometimes it strikes me how much of a glutton for suffering I am. Yea, I'm well aware of the effect fanfiction has on my mind, but I can't seem to stop myself. I'm well aware of the mental torture I'd undoubtedly be putting myself in if I continue procrastinating. I'm well aware of the sweet heartache I'll feel when I finish reading a well-written angst story, and even more when I know I don't read the sequel. But I still continue on my accursed path. Why, I wonder? I'm not sure, myself. Yes, just now I was reading this really good angst story about Harry potter defeating voldermort, who cursed him with the last of his magic so that the former gets transported back through time, where the Marauders and Snape are 7th year students. Pairing of snape and Harry, who's known as Jonathan frost. It's angst because in the end snape waits uselessly and faithfully for frost until 20years later, during which he feels the hope slowly shrivel up and perish within his slowly embittering and hardening heart. Boy does it make me want to weep. Can you believe I actually, in a way, enjoy this feeling? Yes, I think I'm crazy, too, thank you very much. Anyway. Though there's a sequel, I'm willing to leave it at that, meaning I won't read the sequel. It might mar my beautiful memory of the tale.
This afternoon was spent playing ps2 with my younger bro, again. Lol, at least no one can complain that I wasn't a good sister who didn't take the time to bond with my sibling. Homestly, there are times when I feel like I'm actually more immature than he is, and I'm 4 years older! Geez. What will I do with myself? I might talk a little more later, but for now, I don't know why I'm so relaxed...